The bodies of reportedly "happy" boyfriends lie bloody and motionless after the tragedy
WARRENTON, VIRGINIA - Last Saturday the sleepy town of Warrenton, Virginia saw one of the bloodiest tragedies in it's long history when seventeen boyfriends, committed a mass suicide in a pumpkin patch. Julie Miller started her day believing that pumpkin picking would bring her boyfriend Brian and her closer together, "I'm in shock. The day was going so amazing. It felt like something out of an LL Bean catalog," Miller said as she fought back tears, "We had only been here seven hours. The fun was just getting started." One of the victims could be heard yelling, "I WANT MY SATURDAY BACK!" before stabbing himself with a carving knife. As girlfriends screamed in horror other boyfriends in the pumpkin patch also followed suit. Greg McDaniels was heard yelling, "No! No! I'm not picking apples too! I can't do it. I can't!" before wrapping a pumpkin vine around his throat.
Trish Woodvine thought this might be the day that her boyfriend of three years would finally propose, "I imagined us posing for engagement photos right here in the field. Instead he calmly said, Why do we have to spend a whole afternoon and $100 on $10 worth of groceries?" Tragically, Woodvine could not provide a logical answer and he started smashing his head repeatedly with multiple pumpkins.
As with any tragedy of this nature the survivors are left with more questions than answers. Miller had this to say, "I just don't understand. My girlfriends were coming to town next weekend. We had made plans to go outlet shopping and Brian said he would drive us. He seemed so excited about it. This came out of nowhere."
Trish Woodvine thought this might be the day that her boyfriend of three years would finally propose, "I imagined us posing for engagement photos right here in the field. Instead he calmly said, Why do we have to spend a whole afternoon and $100 on $10 worth of groceries?" Tragically, Woodvine could not provide a logical answer and he started smashing his head repeatedly with multiple pumpkins.
As with any tragedy of this nature the survivors are left with more questions than answers. Miller had this to say, "I just don't understand. My girlfriends were coming to town next weekend. We had made plans to go outlet shopping and Brian said he would drive us. He seemed so excited about it. This came out of nowhere."
Two of the happy couples before tragedy struck on Saturday.