Dear Strawberry Growers Sirs (and maybe Mams),
I just wanted to take a quick sec and write to you about your strawberries. I picked up a clam shell of some this weekend and they were the size of my palm! I turned to my wife Louise and said, "Louise. Hey Louise. Would ya look at the size of these strawberries! Whoa, they as big as my palm! These are some big honkin' strawberries!" And you know, she said what she always says, "Harold, stop yelling. We're in the Costco for goodness sake. Would ya calm down? My goodness, we didn't drive an hour here to get kicked out of the Costco for yelling about fruit. I've never seen a grown man so excited about fruit." Well so what if I'm excited about fruit? At my age there isn't all that much to get excited about and fruit excites me. She can't take that away from me.
So I wanted to write to y'all and just say what a thrill it was to purchase yer strawberries this past weekend. I also wanted to ask a favor. Is there any way y'all could make them bigger? I mean I know yer probably thinkin "Oh c'mon bud, strawberries the size of yer palm weren't big enough huh?". Like I said, I was thrilled by these strawberries, but ya know what? I have a dream where one day I could pick up a strawberry the size of an apple and eat it like a gosh darn apple. I know you guys (and maybe gals) got to feel the same way! I also know you guys (and maybe gals) are probably gettin a lot of guff about genetically modifyin yer strawberries. Well I want to tell you big strawberries is what the public wants! We're lookin to eat the biggest strawberries possible! I don't care what you got to inject them with. It's what America wants and it's what America needs. If we can't count on our president, we at least got to be able to count on our strawberries. Now I don't travel outside of my native state of Mississippi all too often. Why would you need to go anywhere else? Mississippi pretty much has it all. Every once in a while maybe I'll drive over to Louisiana to see Ole Miss beat them Tigers from LSU, but even that's a rare occasion. But if I was to ever travel to Europe and they was servin me strawberries. I'd want to be able to say to them, "Ha you call these strawberries?! Look at these little things. They more like smallberries!" Hahaha I'd get em good for ya guys (and maybe gals)!
Now I don't mean for y'all to get carried away like those watermelon folk, I gotta be able to lift a strawberry by myself. Louise has a bad back so I don't want no two-person strawberry, but go big or go home. That's what I always say. Come to think of it I think a lot of people say "Go big or go home". It's a pretty common phrase actually, but I think it can be applied to strawberries as well! Thank you kindly for listening to my ideas and propositions for yer strawberries. Like I said, it has been a great thrill.
Sincerely,
Harold Grissett
I just wanted to take a quick sec and write to you about your strawberries. I picked up a clam shell of some this weekend and they were the size of my palm! I turned to my wife Louise and said, "Louise. Hey Louise. Would ya look at the size of these strawberries! Whoa, they as big as my palm! These are some big honkin' strawberries!" And you know, she said what she always says, "Harold, stop yelling. We're in the Costco for goodness sake. Would ya calm down? My goodness, we didn't drive an hour here to get kicked out of the Costco for yelling about fruit. I've never seen a grown man so excited about fruit." Well so what if I'm excited about fruit? At my age there isn't all that much to get excited about and fruit excites me. She can't take that away from me.
So I wanted to write to y'all and just say what a thrill it was to purchase yer strawberries this past weekend. I also wanted to ask a favor. Is there any way y'all could make them bigger? I mean I know yer probably thinkin "Oh c'mon bud, strawberries the size of yer palm weren't big enough huh?". Like I said, I was thrilled by these strawberries, but ya know what? I have a dream where one day I could pick up a strawberry the size of an apple and eat it like a gosh darn apple. I know you guys (and maybe gals) got to feel the same way! I also know you guys (and maybe gals) are probably gettin a lot of guff about genetically modifyin yer strawberries. Well I want to tell you big strawberries is what the public wants! We're lookin to eat the biggest strawberries possible! I don't care what you got to inject them with. It's what America wants and it's what America needs. If we can't count on our president, we at least got to be able to count on our strawberries. Now I don't travel outside of my native state of Mississippi all too often. Why would you need to go anywhere else? Mississippi pretty much has it all. Every once in a while maybe I'll drive over to Louisiana to see Ole Miss beat them Tigers from LSU, but even that's a rare occasion. But if I was to ever travel to Europe and they was servin me strawberries. I'd want to be able to say to them, "Ha you call these strawberries?! Look at these little things. They more like smallberries!" Hahaha I'd get em good for ya guys (and maybe gals)!
Now I don't mean for y'all to get carried away like those watermelon folk, I gotta be able to lift a strawberry by myself. Louise has a bad back so I don't want no two-person strawberry, but go big or go home. That's what I always say. Come to think of it I think a lot of people say "Go big or go home". It's a pretty common phrase actually, but I think it can be applied to strawberries as well! Thank you kindly for listening to my ideas and propositions for yer strawberries. Like I said, it has been a great thrill.
Sincerely,
Harold Grissett
